By KATHI HILL
I am a Southern humorist. I know I am the best Southern humorist in my house, and maybe on my whole road, but I don’t know that part for sure. But I do know a Southern humorist has to be a good storyteller and they have to love doing it. And you can’t be scared to tell stories in front of an audience.
Now, there have been some great storytellers that ain’t Southern, but they are few and far between. The humorists are even fewer. I’m made a list of all the good humorists I have known, and you may know more. But take note: most these folks are from the South.
Mark Twain died in 1910 at age 74 from a heart attack. He was from Florida, Missouri. At least it was Florida. A quote: “Concerning the difference between the man and the jackass: Some observers hold that there isn’t any. But this wrongs the jackass.”
Will Rogers, who was a Cherokee Indian born on the reservation, was from Oklahoma. But if he was Cherokee, it stands to reason his ancestors were from the South. He died at age 55 in 1935 in a plane crash. A quote: “If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.”
Lewis Grizzard, from Georgia, died in 1994 at age 47 after complications from heart surgery. A quote: “I don’t think I’ll ever get married again. I’ll just find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.”
Erma Bombeck, from Ohio, died in 1996 at age 69 from complications of a kidney transplant. A quote: “Never trust a doctor whose office plants have died.”
Ludlow Porch, from Georgia, died in 2011 at age 77 from a stroke. He was Lewis Grizzard’s stepbrother. At the end of each radio show, he would say “Call your mama.”
Andy Griffith, born in North Carolina, died in 2012, at age 86 from a heart attack. He was then buried the same day. Quote: “Morning ladies. My goodness, don’t you look happy. Must be cuttin’ somebody up pretty good.”
Jeanne Robertson, born in North Carolina, age 77. Quote: “Don’t send a man to the grocery store.” All her stories involve “Left Brain,” her husband.
Jeff Foxworthy, born in Georgia, age 61. Quote: “Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet Saint Bernard coming in through the cat door.”
Rick Bragg, born in Alabama, age 61. Quote: ““Momma kept a garden, which sounds romantic to people who have never held a hoe.”
Dave Barry, age 73, born in Florida. Quote: “The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.”
Ronda Rich, age 59, born in Georgia. Quote: “Mama always said, ‘You can judge a person pretty good by the kind of laundry they hang on their clothesline.’ “
But the best Southern humorist, and maybe the best humorist period, as far as I’m concerned, the very best storyteller who filled his audience with tears of laughter was Jerry Clower.
He was born in Mississippi and died in 1998 at the age of 71 following heart bypass surgery. He said he’d seen a book about how to tell rednecks (I suspect a Jeff Foxworthy book) and he had a few things to say about that himself.
Quote: “You know a man is a redneck if the front porch falls in, it’ll always kill about four dogs.” “And you know a man is a redneck if there’s two boys in the same family named Jr.” “You know a man is a redneck when he calls sardines and spam Hors d’oeuvres.”
All these men and women are funny. Many of them have passed away, but their humor lives on. Notice the youngest storytelling humorist is almost 60 years old.
Come on people, we need some funny young’uns!
Probably everybody on this list with the exception of Mark Twain, can be seen or at least heard on YouTube.
Give yourself an hour (or two) and listen. You won’t regret it.