When traveling on the roads sometimes you are the windshield and sometimes you are the bug. And after witnessing some drivers you often wonder, “Is there really intelligent life on earth?”

I’m sitting low, and driving slow.
Where I’m going don’t need knowing.
I can’t hear and seeing ain’t clear,
But with just one beer—I know no fear.

Don’t need no worthless signal lights.
Loud, blinking noise makes my chest tight.
Where I’ve been and I’m a’ going.
Nobody but me needs to be knowing.

Don’t need no chatty GPS.
Talks too much, like my younger sis.
She thinks she’s smart and knows it all.
Talks more gossip than a mother-in-law.

Oops! Signal’s been on far too long.
But that don’t mean I signaled wrong.
Didn’t forget—had a change of mind.
Good drivers like me are hard to find.

Was that my turn I’d planned to make?
Senior moment, but not MY mistake.
And why is HE in such a hurry?
Darn road markers, way too blurry!

Dang it now! I’ve gone way too far!
I should have turned off way back there.
But why’s HE mad? Blowing his top.
Can’t Senior Drivers make a quick stop?

Now, what’s all that honking,
horn blowing?
Where I was going,
HE didn’t need knowing.

HE smashed my car’s rear!
Saw it in my mirror.
Didn’t need them glasses.
HE caused me whiplashes!

Is that sirens in my good ear?
No worry; got license; have no fear.
HIS fault, Officer! Not luck I’M alive.
‘Cause I’m the best when you say “DRIVE.”

From: What The
Bookman Saw